Starting College Life

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Kinda busy for last two weeks, didn’t manage to spend time with my friends but then, going to stay over at friend’s hostel has became a weekly routine for me.

Celebrated our little boy birthday on Tuesday, quite special this time. Had an awesome time at Chili’s Bar and took pretty loads of photos.

Millions thanks to Chua, that she fetched me to INTI college for registration, I’m officially an INTI-an now. 20 days to new school’s life, kinda awkward about it. Still uncertain about what major should I choose for the coming 3 years, I wanted to have friends that could be like a little cool, bad and wild, there’ll be these kind of classmate on certain programs, such as design, public relation and advertising. But then, I wanted to have a great bright future, had to have a major that market has a high demanded. This contradiction won’t go away, unless the school has really started, well, I have picked this Marketing as my major, and hope that I’ll able to have some cool friends. The second contradiction is course fee, to be honest; I hope to living in high chain community, that’s why I would never go for TAR College, for what I know about TAR College is bunch of Vulgar dogs (Those who didn’t take study as their main goal in College). Comparatively, the tuition fee for TAR College is way cheaper than INTI College; it takes me Rm65k for the 3 years program. This is the 1^st time I heard that my mom blaming about my education fee, maybe its all about my brother business in a difficult situation, so now my parent is the only financial supporter for these 65k. Wish to had a loan for government and its to help myself to pay my own tuition fee. Hope that everything goes well in the future.

Well..

Am I really addicted to smoking? Someone save me from this hell please.

100 Truths~

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

About me

001. Real name – Chin Gx (Sorry, to protect myself)

002. Like it? – Yep…

003. Nickname(s)? –Penguin

004. Status? -Single

005. Zodiac sign? –Aries

006. Male or female? –Male

007. Elementary? –Gurney

008. Middle School? –SJK© Kampung Gurney

009. High School? –SMKBBBK

010. Hair color? -Black

011. Long or short? -Super Short and I like it!

012. Eye color? –Black, since I have this contact lens

013. Weight? -55Kg, It’s a fixed number~

014. Height? -173cm

015. Righty or lefty? -Righty

016. Loud or Quiet? -Depend who I was talking with~

017. Sweats or Jeans? -Jeans!

018. Phone or Camera? -Camera pwned phone~ as long as the phone can text and call!

019. Health freak? –Trying to be~

020. Piercings? -None!

021. Do you have a crush on someone? -Noooooo~

022. Eat or Drink? -Eaaat, to gain more weight!

023. Purse or Backpack? -Backpack is a must for me!

024. Tattoos? –Will have it soon!

025. Do You Like Yourself? -Of cause~ =.=.

026. Current worry? –New College’s life~

This or That

027. Orange or Apple Juice? -Apple Juice~

028. Night or Day? –Day, I love sunshine!

029. Sun or Moon? – Suuuun, only for morning. Loooolx!

030. TV or Internet? –Could have died without Internet~

031. PlayStation or XBox? –xBox > PlayStation. Since I have 1. Ahahaha

032. Kiss or Hug? –Hug me pleaseee!

033. Iguana or Turtle? -Ouch, both are disgusting, but will pick turtle. Lmao!

034. Spider or Bee? -Whut? Haxxx, Bee without the sting please!

035. Fall or spring? - Spring!

036. Limewire or iTunes? -LimeWire, you have to pay for iTunes.

037. Soccer or Baseball? –Soccer, I know nothing about Baseball!

First

038. First surgery? –When I was grade 6!

039. First piercing? –Nevaaaaaaar!

040. First best friend? –To be honest? Totally forgot his name, Wong Chin Foo tho.

041. First Sport? –Playing the jumping robes!

042. First award? -2^nd or 3^rd in the story telling contest when I was grade 2

043. First crush? –Grade 5 tho!

044. First pet? –I don’t have any pet, because of the skin allergies. T.T

045. First big vacation? – Hong Kong for weeks, during high school.

046. First big birthday? –Year of 3, it was really BIG…

Currently

047. Eating? – KitKat Bites dark.

048. Drinking? –Water~

049. I’m about to? Sleep~

050. Listening to? –Down to Earth by Justin Bieber

051. Singing? – During Karaoke section~

052. Typing? – These 100 questions~

053. Waiting for? –Tomorrow~

Future

054. Want kids? –Sure I want, but there’s unsure circumstances.

055. When? -When I have the financial control…

056. Want to get married? _Not necessary ~

057. When? – Not sure!

058. Where Do You Want To Live? -I love Canada, but it’s nothing but a HOPE!

059. Careers in mind? Millionaire!

060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? –Policeman, Don’t laugh! Lolx. 061. Mellow Future Or Wild? -Prefer mix it up!

062. Something You Would Never Try? -To torture myself!

Which is Better with Girls/Guys

063. Lips or eyes?- Eyes

064. Shorter or taller? -Taller

065. Romantic or spontaneous? –Can I have both?

066. Nice stomach or nice arms? – Can I have it all again? Im greedy and I know! xD

067. Sensitive or loud? -Whut is this?

068. Hook-up or relationship? –Relationship…

069. Trouble maker or hesitant? –Hesitant then~

070. Hugging or Kissing? - Kisses follow by Hugsssss

071. Tan Skinned or Light? -Im cool with either!

072. Dark or Light Hair? -Dark

073. Muscular or Normal? –Normal 1 is more than enough!

Have I ever

074. Lost glasses/contacts ? –I leave it at the beach, guess what?

075. Ran away from home? –I tried, but then nowhere to go! So I gave up!

076. Held a gun/knife for self defense?- Thxs God, Its not gonna happened

077. Killed somebody? -I did, in game! xD

078. Broken someone’s heart? –Yes, and sorry.

079. Been arrested? Wanted to try!

080. Cried when someone died? –Movie? Of cause~

081. Kissed A Stranger? -Hell no!

082. Climbed Up A Tree? -Yeah, even fell from tree! Ahahax

083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? –What?

Believed in

084. Yourself? –Always….

085. Miracles? –Yes.

086. Love at first sight? –Yah.

087. Heaven? –Guess I believed! Lolx!

088. Santa Clause? Nope!

089. Kiss on the first date? It only happened one in my life!

Truthfully

090. Is there one person you want to be with right now? –No, pathetic!

091. Do You Like Someone? -Someone? I like loads of people! Kay?

092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Hellll yes!

093. Do you believe in God? Hmmmm, Yes, when I need help!

Last

094. Received/ Sent Text Message? Taylor College Open days remind. Lolx

095. Received Call? – Mama~

096. Call Made? –Ehhhh~ N

097. Comment On MySpace? -Don’t have MySpace. Used to hack Brandon’s account.

098. Missed Call? -Teng Teng!

099. Person You Hung out With? -Someone you shouldn’t know~

100. Post as 100 truths and tag – Not gonna tag!

烂眼光~

Sunday，November 22， 2009

咳~ “枯木逢春、久旱逢甘露” 也许是对的吧？殊不知，每个人都可能经过所谓的“空窗期”，顾名思义，某人很久很久没爱情的滋润，活在没男女朋友的世界，空活在自己的房里。这也许会令人懊恼吧？

最近，一名女生跟一名男生走得很近，有没有在一起我们另当别论，朋友们都觉得男生不是一位可以付托一生的人，但也许女生没想过和男生度过一生，人的择偶条件还不是屈指可数；有上进心，有才华，样貌出众，个人性格，谈吐举止，等等！由此可见，除了男生生于富裕的环境，不屑一看吧！要是如此的想法出自我一人，你也许觉得是我出于妒忌或那男生讨我厌，经过了一个礼拜的了解，几乎每个活在我圈子的人都觉得这根本就是错配！就连平时甚少批评人的“人”都在我面前大吐不快。由此可见，男生是多么“劣”？

毕竟那是女生的私人问题，作为朋友，我已给与适当劝导和“恐嚇”。从头到尾我没有再把所说的当玩笑，要是女生选了男生，失去的将是我们部分的友谊。

哈哈哈~ 女生也许不会看到这篇文章，但这也许可以当以后“亏”女生的工具。以后？也就算男生和女生分手后吧~ 它们一定撑不久，前车可鉴！

Come out from the closet!

Monday, November 16, 2009

After much hesitation, I've admitted it to myself. I am indeed more homosexual than I am straight. It's something that is very difficult to spit out. But yeah, there is no denying why I come to this conclusion; I'm most often turned on by gay images, videos, etc. It occurred to me about few years ago and has slowly become more obvious and dominant. Still, of course, I'm in the closet.. and the reason that I may never come out is that the people around me would shun the admission.. my family, my friends, etc. I would certainly have to leave this area and start a new life if I wanted to come out of the closet and be true with myself. Ultimately, I guess that I care what people think about me. I don't want to risk ruining relationships with people that mean a lot to me. It's screwed up, it's not right.. I really just wish that people would be more open minded about such things. But unfortunately they're not, and so I will continue to hide the truth. (4 months ago)

Sometimes we think our friends and family will shun us; but we don't really know how they'll react. Thought for sure some family would not approve, but they've been very supportive. Go slow .. try with a close friend or two. It is indeed a very painful, private process that feels like torture inside. There are people here to support you, and there must be people in your life that care about YOU, no matter if you're gay or not.

Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. =)) [4 moths later]

If your friends are true they will not really care that you are gay. Yes they may be shocked or surprised at first but given time and information they will realize you are still the same person they always knew. And the ones that shun you for your sexual orientation, well, you might want to question just how good a friend they were to begin with.

Do not ruin your life living in lies!

I'd came out from the closet, do not hide yourself in the closet.

I have a brand new life now. How about you?

Meaningful~

Monday, November 16, 2009

He was then the silly boy with whom I got along so well, the boy with whom I felt connected in a friendly way.
I never would have imagined he'd become someone I couldn't be without. Someone whom I still love far past the boundaries we have set.

He made me laugh and he made me smile, but he didn't make me crazy in the "I want you so badly" sense. We'd go on dates, but we seemed more like best friends than boyfriend-girlfriend. I remember looking over at him one night while in line for a movie and thinking, I love him. But I don't want him. We broke up nearly seven months after that.

I wish I could say that was the end, that we went our separate ways and never talked again. Or that we became best friends and that was all. But no, I can't. Because we did become friends, but that wasn't all. I fell in love with him. Simply. I knew just as I had known I didn't love him four years ago. It took me four years to understand it, to work it out in my mind. But I knew.

We'd go out as friends and I'd wonder what it was like to be his girlfriend for real. Those years ago were hardly anything, they were a game. But now I loved him, I couldn't and didn't want to be away from him. I was going to tell him, somehow. I had hoped for him to respond with an "I love you too."

But it didn't work out that way because I never really got my chance.

"I'm gay."

He told me this on the phone one night, while I sat by my stereo and flipped through a stack of cds for a mix tape I was making. My breath felt literally sucked out. I stopped and felt as if my chest was being crushed. I could actually hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"Oh." I wanted to say to him: But I'm in love with you. How could you do this to me? But I couldn't. I can't. It's not his fault. I know that. But I felt like everything had been ripped away from me, my insane dream of us getting together someday. It had no closure.

It was just this thing I was stuck with: wanting someone unreachable.

When I try to tell this story, I can't convey exactly what it is we have. A delicate balance between love and more-than-love (on my part, at least). Not long ago, I actually did tell him I was in love with him. It was so hard, so very unimaginably hard. I had to explain myself carefully; I didn't want him to feel as though he were letting me down somehow. I'm glad I told him the truth though, it makes it easier on me.

I know he loves me and I love him, and sometimes I get mixed up in what way it is, but I do know it's love.

Story by xxx, 1996

No more MOS!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Am I getting bored with clubbing? These tiredness and wooziness won’t go away since it has been 2 days from MOS.

This might be the worse experience I ever had for clubbing.

Guess what? I’d fun at MOS almost everytime, but this time.

Z brought one of his boys from Kampar and he drove Volkswagen GTi, well, I guess he’s rich. Lol!!!

No doubt, he’s so fucking rich!!! We don’t have much people that day, but he opened 4 bottles and it costs him RM 1240.

Thought that we gonna pay a lot after this, fortunately, he didn’t ask me to pay him back. Ahaha!

Everythings were cool at the beginning, AKA, before he got drunk. All of his ugly faces turned up.

He tried to get HS drunk, and “molested” her on the dance pool.

He asked this silly question, that I used to laugh at people who asked it. He asked:” Can I be your boyfriend?”

Come on!!!

He just met her for less than 12 hours, and he asked this kind of dumb fucking silly question.

The worst part is I have to fucking bring him out of the club, he drunk out of his mind, he can’t even move by his own desires. I have to fucking carried this 80+KG fatso out of there, you know what?

There’re stairs everywhere, he sweats me, I mean his sweats seep into my shirt and it makes me sweat as well. Ish!!!

Gtfo fatass, this lesson taught you not to drink when you can’t drink! Don’t act cool!

Rainsssss

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Fell in love with Rain

Imagine that

You

Bathe

Yourself in the rain

Raindrops fell on your body

You can feel extraordinary calm

It can’t be describes by words

Even though

It’s a little too dangerous

But

One try couldn’t be so wrong.

Rofl!

To be honest

I hate skin hypersensitivity

Now

My legs side

Filled with red rash

And

Itchiness is killing me!

But definitely not going to Doctor

It’s embarrassing to take off pants

Front of the Doctor.

Hahaha.

Oakland's Boys

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Blackout?

It has been 2 years

Delusion now!

But

Everything seem so weird!

Hax!

By the way,

Its good to see them again.

Frustrating

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Blame Who?

There’re things happened last week, but I don’t feel like bring them up to this. Let them become the history of my life. What about this week? Gosh, it’s as boring as usual, I’d a sleepover at friend’s house, even though it’s not that “de-bored”. Well, at least I found something to kill my time.

To tell the truth, I found myself no different compare to “Naïve” XiaoBai, I believed in those silly dream and fantasy that couldn’t be achieved in reality and I knew the truth, yet, I choose the path for being an idiot. Don’t know? Maybe man should dumb for certain things, so we could have a chance to get a man or woman that could always reminds and wakes you up from these castle in the sky. Am I right?

It’s going to be decisive moment for my life, it’s not going to stay long for being a youngster, whether or not, I have to admitted that my mind hasn’t fully developed into adult’s mind. Last 2 days, I asked this effing stupid question, “What’s good for my life now?” I got the perfect answer from my boy, Y.

“Man living in this world with loads of purposes, some play a father’s role, some as a nice husband, even a man who live to fulfill woman’s sex desire, they do worth to survive and play an important role in our society, your parent gave you the opportunity to breath, love, etc. But I guess you forgot there’s an ability you have and you work well with it, you not remember how to smile? What is good for life, basically just a “ceremony” to get an answer that makes your life better; I can tell things that good for your life are those who can bring you happiness.”